All I need from Warzone’s subsequent season are higher rocks


Name Of Responsibility: Warzone‘s subsequent season is sort of right here. There’s discuss of a nuke descending into Verdansk and blowing it into the Nineteen Eighties, maybe completely reshaping the map for the primary time ever. Even when it does look like an overreaction to the zombie ‘outbreak’, I am right here for it.

And with all this pleasure constructing over what we’ll see and never see and possibly see, all I can take into consideration is rocks. To be trustworthy, they’re all I’ve thought of since Warzone’s inception, after my character succumbed to poison fuel in a determined bid to climb up them. I hate these rocks. I despise these rocks. However above all, I worry these rocks.

In Warzone I’m a supersoldier whose ft are feat; able to something. I’m a parkour fanatic with limbs that do not buckle. I’m a rigorously constructed specimen with joints which were stress examined for 1 million flawless drops into Verdansk. I haven’t got a guaranty, but when I did, it will be very lengthy with distinctive customer support.

That tall wall? Vaulted it mate. That constructing? Dropped off it mate. That window? Hopped off that constructing, vaulted that wall, scuttled up the railing, and compelled entry, mate. Yeah, however what about these rocks? Do not even mate, I am unable to stand the sight of them.

The rocks are windscreen wipers and we’re the droplets, being swept off them with a flourish and a splatter.

Alright I will say it. I am unable to scale these rocks. Even in spite of everything this army coaching I’ve obtained, and after numerous hours spent in Verdansk – I simply cannot.

However I’ve heard that others have this challenge. That these small rocky outcrops are additionally not possible for my comrades and mortal enemies to scale. It isn’t only a me factor, however one thing each soldier goes by way of within the Warzone.

Let me describe the difficulty for you. Think about glass shattering as you crash by way of a window and drop to the ground under. You vault a 5 foot fence and race up a ladder, whereas gunshots ring out and the partitions round you spit particles.

You soar off the highest of a skyscraper, and parachute onto the bottom under with a thud. Now, think about you are confronted with a cluster of rocks that lightly curve upwards: maybe a cliff face with seen ridges; little pockets which one would assume you possibly can tippy toe onto. At pace, you hurl your self at these rocks with the specific function of transferring up them.

My squaddie James didn’t make it up this slope. I attempted instantly after and met the identical destiny.

As an alternative, you slide down them simply as shortly. Repeatedly, you throw your self at these rocks. Totally different angles, completely different speeds, muffled screams. After which the fuel encroaches, and also you begin coughing; spluttering; a bullet whistles by way of your cranium; the curtains shut; polished oxfords slap at the hours of darkness; the lights clap on; Bobby Kotick whirls round, he exclaims: “Name Of Responsibility: Warzone everyone!”, and the group erupts.

Not solely is it irritating, it is humiliating. The rocks are windscreen wipers and we’re the droplets, being swept off them with a flourish and a splatter. I believe the closest feeling to the ‘abruptness’ of those rocks is captured in Darkish Souls. Much less in order that sense of scrambling upwards, however extra the sheer tempo of crashing downwards. Take a incorrect step in Darkish Souls and your physique plops into the abyss at a daunting tempo. You obtain 1-60mph a lot, a lot sooner than a Bugatti Veyron, and I would say you’d in all probability beat Lewis Hamilton on the Monaco Grand Prix, truthfully.

I am not sure why the rocks in Verdansk are like this. Possibly there’s an audio log buried someplace in one of many missile silos which explains all. I am pondering there is a discarded geography mission by a teenage Captain Worth that reveals the geological make-up of those rocks. The massive reveal being that their mineral make-up makes them slippy, or that they’ve undergone a lot onion-skin weathering, they’ve turn out to be just like the core of the onion – slippery as hell, and sufficient to make you cry.

I face a very rocky cliff face in Warzone.
Not even going to hassle.

So sure, I’ve grown to worry these rocks. I actively keep away from their presence now in Verdansk. And on the uncommon event I’ve bought to discover a manner round them, I go away sufficient time to take action whereas peering between my fingers.

Deliver on the following season of Warzone! God, I am unable to wait to see the trailer and yell with giddy abandon in any respect the cool stuff, then tut at each new rock I spot.

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